Guardians of the North Series (E-Book)

I’m ten final reconciliations away from freedom.

Just ten little spreadsheet lines and I can log out of my computer. Come on. You’ve got this.

I rub my eyes, willing them to refocus even as I reach for the last swallow of a watered-down Dr. Pepper. Should’ve finished it when the ice was still ice. I grimace, but swallow, convinced the sugar and caffeine will see me through.

My brain is practically mush, but the desire to see my brother after three years is enough to propel me through the grueling monthly task. Four wonderful, office-free days.

Clickety-clack.

Nine lines.

After the hell I’ve been through in the past month, this Alaskan vacation is just what I need to recharge.

Eight.

I drop my gaze to my left hand. The familiar relief surges at seeing the naked finger. I don’t know why I keep checking, as if the ring I never really wanted could magically pop back on my finger. Why did I say yes? Well, just what in
the hell is a woman supposed to do when a man proposes to her in a very public
setting?

Clickety-clack.

Seven.

“Are you ready?” Mindy’s chipper voice pulls me from my gloomy thoughts and reminds me I have better things ahead.

“Almost done.” I nod at the screen. If I never have to do another monthly reconciliation spreadsheet again, it’ll be too soon. I’m good with numbers, but this is so not my passion. The job does pay well enough and offers fantastic benefits. It doesn’t feel right to complain. Yet,
it still feels a little like my soul is dying each day I’m here.

Six.

“I’m so jealous of you, you know.” Mindy sits on the end of my cubicle desk and reaches for the framed photo of Jordan and me, ogling the picture taken at his Coast Guard boot camp graduation. She’s had a crush on my brother’s photo since I met her. Never mind that she’s happily
married with two teenaged kids. I adore
Mindy. “Take me with you? I’ll behave.”

“No you won’t,” I tease.

Five lines to go.

“You’re right, I totally wouldn’t.”  She sets the photo frame back in its place.
“You don’t have to either, you know.”

“What?”

“Behave.”

“You know I’m not ready to put myself back out there.” I can feel the compassion emanating from Mindy, but I don’t dare look back at her. I can’t stand the pity I know I’ll find in her eyes.

I returned the ring a month ago. I’m still
adjusting to my new normal. I’ve had enough space to realize I didn’t love Ryan
like I thought I did, but it still feels different to be on my own after two
years. I never realized how smothered I was until a few days went by without
hearing from him. Even if I had to block his number to make that happen.

“Sweetie, you’re only going to be in that little Alaska town for three nights. I’m not suggesting you snag a future husband.”

Four lines.

I reach for my water tumbler and take a long sip to avoid having to say anything. Mindy means well, she really does.

“You don’t need a relationship,” she adds. “You need some hot, meaningless sex.”

I choke on my water hard enough to make my eyes water and cause two coworkers to poke their heads over the tops of their cubicle walls to make sure I’m not dying. Or maybe it’s their morbid curiosity that drives them to look over. Truth. No one likes these spreadsheets.

Outside of Mindy, I haven’t met a lot of genuinely kind people at this job. Of course, I haven’t really tried to make meaningful connections. I never planned to stay long term. Mindy kind of forced her friendship on me, despite our age difference. She’s the only person who makes this nine-to-five tolerable.

“Surely your brother has some hot Coast Guard friends,” Mindy says after she no longer deems it necessary to pound on my back. My face is no doubt beet red and my eyes are watering heavily, but she’s not deterred. “Hook up with one of them. Maybe it’ll inspire you.”

“Inspire me to what?”

Mindy’s expression shifts when her gaze catches someone in the distance. It’s the look that says the boss is approaching. She slides off my desk and stands, straightening her long skirt. “You’re meant for more than this place, sweetie.” She pats my shoulder. “Don’t forget to send me pictures.”

I return my focus to the dreaded spreadsheet and quickly knock out the last three reconciliations. But I’m not fast enough to avoid my manager.

“Blakely, how’s that monthly recon coming?” There’s something sickeningly sweet in her voice that’s always grated on me, but I’ve never offered her anything colder than a kind smile.

“Almost done. Just two left—”

“Good, good.” Her gaze drops to the photo on my desk. The same one Mindy was practically drooling over a minute ago. I wait for her to ask about my trip or my brother, but instead, she returns the
conversation to work. “Send it to me when you’re finished. I’ll do a quick
review so you can make any changes before you head out for the day.”

“But—”

My manager moves to the next cubicle before I can straighten out this misunderstanding. I slip out of my chair, stretching my neck around the edge of my cubicle with the intention of reminding her I’m leaving for the day in just a few minutes. But before she can turn her head back to me, I chicken out and slink back to my chair.

I finish up the final recons and attach the
spreadsheet to an email.

And wait.

I can feel the life draining out of me with each passing minute my manager continues to make rounds instead of checking her email. I need to get home and pack so I can catch the red eye flight tonight.

“What are you still doing here?” Mindy asks half an hour later, her expression a mixture of surprise and disdain.

“I’m waiting for Shelby to review my
reconciliations.”

Mindy folds her arms over her chest in that scolding way only a mother can effectively pull off. “It’ll take her all
afternoon to review them. There are hundreds. Shut down your computer right now. You took a half day. Your PTO
is submitted. Get your cute butt out that door and onto a plane.”

“But—”

“Stop trying to please everyone else and for once be selfish, okay?” Mindy digs my purse out of my desk drawer and plops it in front of me. “Go. Before I unplug your computer. Hot Alaskan Coast Guard men await.”